We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
