ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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