I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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