Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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