My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
