I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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