hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
