For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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