I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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