this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
