I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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