KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
