At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
whose parrot is this?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
