She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Its about making memories worth repressing
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
