Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
