Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
