Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
