I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
