Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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