I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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