Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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