That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
