garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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