i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize