so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
there was a trapeze. enough said
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
