So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
