it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
