So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
