Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
what day is it and did you see me today?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
