so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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