CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
