Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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