So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
