i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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