If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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