we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
