good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
