I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
