wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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