I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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