I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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