entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
