I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
