I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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