I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Who died my cat blue again?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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