I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
