Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
