Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
