there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
