if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
