Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Congratulations! We have a period
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