all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Let's get the cat blown out
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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