That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
