There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
