so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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