Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
