Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize