Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
