How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I pour the whiskey from now on
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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