I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
why do cheetos always look like penises
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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