'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize